A broken Swan Read online

  “Oh honey, we miss you too, just because we’re not there, don’t think we’re not watching over you,” Dad said softly into my hair. I cried some more. The three of us holding onto each other like the old days.

  “Honey, we love you. But it’s not your time to join us yet. You have so many joyous years ahead of you. It was our time to leave. But it’s not yours, that’s why you lived that night, we made sure of it,” mom softly said as she brushed my hair back from my face.

  “Just know that your mom and I are together. She and I will always be here together for you,” dad whispered.

  I cried some more and realized they were right. I still needed to live. Even without them. They said that Uncle Robert and Aunt Helen were doing a great job and that they knew they left me in the best hands. I told them I loved them. I held onto them as long as I could before they faded away, telling me they’ll always be in my heart, and that I would always be their swan princess. And that they needed their swan princess to spread her wings and fly. I smiled.

  All of a sudden, my eyes opened. It was a dream. Or maybe it wasn’t. It felt real. I looked around me. I was in the hospital. I looked down. I was in a hospital gown under the blanket. I looked to my left and realized someone was holding my hand partially asleep on the side of my bed. Gabriel. I slowly took my hand out of his hand; my hands shook as I reached to touch his hair. His hair soft and thick. He must have felt it because he starting to wake up. He looked up drowsily. His wonderful ocean blue eyes looked at me. He even looked gorgeous half asleep. His eyes widened when he realized I was awake.

  “Hey handsome,” I whispered daringly with a small smile. My voice was dry. He broke out into a smile. He jumped up and hugged me. His face on the side of my hair, holding me as tight as he could without hurting me.

  “Oh god Odette, I thought I lost you,” he choked out. I realized he was crying. His sobs shook his body against mine. I realized he needed this. He needed the reassurance that I was alive, that I was awake. He pulled back and brushed my hair away from my eyes. His eyes so tender, raw and open, filled with love for me. He really loves me, I thought to myself.

  I touched the side of his face and he bent savoring the feel of my hand.

  “What happened?” I whispered. I realized I escaped death twice. Hopefully it was my last time until I’m really old.

  “When you went down, I went a little crazy,” he said softly, looking a little sheepishly at the same time. Running his hand through his hair. “I punched your Uncle and ran onto the ice. I ran on parts that were still solid and managed to get to you in time,” His face looking serious like he was reliving the moment himself again. He swallowed a couple of times before continuing. “I managed to pull you out. Good thing you’re a light weight because it wasn’t so hard. The only problem was you swallowed some water. You were under for a whole minute. You stopped breathing. I grabbed the roped and screamed for your Uncle to pull. He did it with three pulls. I managed to back on the land before the ice collapsed completely under me. Almost didn’t make it, but I knew I needed to get to you. I even pushed your Uncle away and started doing CPR myself. And then the sweetest sound came out of you. You started coughing out the water. But you were unconscious. You had a temperature of 107. They had to bring it back down. It’s been 5 days…you wouldn’t wake up…the doctors said you were in a twilight sleep and that eventually you’ll wake…or..or...” his voice cracked some more, “or that you wouldn’t wake up at all, that it could be something permanent.” And then he broke down. My sweet Gabriel, my angel. With all my strength, I grabbed his face and kissed him. He stood still for a moment before running his hands through my hair. We kissed like it was our last kiss, even though we knew it wasn’t. He pulled back, with tears still in his eyes, but with a smile on his face this time. I smiled back. Things were going to be fine.

  All of a sudden, swarm of family members came rushing in. Uncle Robert, Aunt Helen, Chelsea, Charlie, Kevin, Gemma, Jamie, Mr. and Mrs. Ryan and Jayla. I realized that just because I lost my parents, I still had all these people surrounding me with their love. I was blessed. I was not alone. I was never alone. Everyone talking at once, so happy to see that I was awake. Jamie crying telling me he was sorry that I got hurt because of him. I managed to give him a hug reassuring that it was not his fault and that I was just happy he was alive. He said that when I got out we were going to drink hot chocolate and watch movies. I laughed.

  Chelsea was looking forlorn and regretful. My heart had already forgiven her. She would always be my beautiful cousin Chelsea. Deep down, she was more than a cousin, she was a sister.

  I gave her a smile and held out my arms as a sign of forgiveness. She hugged me and cried and said over and over “I’m so sorry” I patted her back telling her that everything was going to be okay. That things happen for a reason and that hopefully it made her realize how rich she was and not with materialistic things.

  As she was hugging me, she also whispered in my ears, “I’m sorry about Gabriel. He really loves you. He jumped in the water to save you, not caring if he died. I’ve never seen anything like that. I hope someday I’ll find a guy who would risk his life for me.” And like that, I saw acceptance in her eyes. I was happy.

  Day by day went and I got my strength. I had other visitors that I was surprise about. Mark came by with his mom and Pete bringing me flowers. Shelby Lee came by with her mom bring more flowers. A lot of other people came by that shocked Aunt Helen and Chelsea. “I didn’t know you knew that many people. I thought you were a complete wallflower!” Chelsea exclaimed.

  Uncle Robert laughed. “Of course she still is, but she manages to help around when she can. I see her do it all the time.” I was happy that Uncle Robert noticed. I guess living in a small town, you can’t blend into the background. I laughed.

  Gabriel came to see me every day. He never left my side except to go to school because I made him. I realized that in two days it was going to be Valentine’s day. His and Gemma’s birthday. Three days before my birthday. The three of us turning 18 together. The party. I haven’t gone to a big social gathering in forever. I don’t know if I was ready. I seriously considered just skipping out but I knew everyone would be mad at me. I must have been frowning so deep in a thought because Gabriel noticed it.

  “What’s wrong sweetheart?” He asked with concern. I warmed at his endearment.

  I looked down, playing with my strand of hair. I felt his hand go under my chin. He tilted me look at him. He smiled encouragingly. I sighed. “Do we have to have a party?” and he laughed. “You could’ve said no,” he joked. I rolled my eyes. He tweaked my nose. It was so strange being affectionate with him. So different to share my thoughts with anyone. He understood that I was use to formulating things in my own mind. But he told me that I would never be alone to do that now, so I had to get use to talking to him.

  And then I realized something. For Gemma and for myself, I needed to talk to him about his friend Damian. I didn’t want him to be like me, holding in something for so long and exploding years later. I made him sit down. He knew I was serious right now. But I still needed to be close to him as I spoke to him. He sat down; I climbed out of the hospital bed. He got up to help me but I shook my head and told him to sit down. My legs were still weak and wobbly, but I managed to climb onto his lap. I think he was surprise because it was the first time I went to him without him coming to me. I could tell he was also pleased. I put my arms around his neck and laid my head on his chest.

  “I know you know what happened to me four years ago, your grandfather told you,” I felt him nod his head yes. “Did you know that I never cried since the night I was shot? And that the first time I cried was last month?” He looked down at me in question. I sighed. “I use to blame myself for not being able to save my parents, use to play the “what if” game. I realized that it wouldn’t be any use because they were already gone.” I felt his body stiffen, knowing well that he knew what I was talking about. “Sometimes I use to wish that
I died that night, so I was with them and not alone. Sometimes I’d question, why was I still here? But then I realized, what’s there to question. I’m alive. That should answer everything.” All he did was stare at me. I could tell he was trying to work out his feelings because he was swallowing causing his Adam’s apple to move up and down.

  “Gemma told me what happened,” He stiffened again. “But I want to hear it from you,” I softly replied. He tried to move me away, but I tighten my hold. “Tell me, it will help you,” I softly said encouragingly. I looked in his eyes, telling him I trusted him, that he was safe with me. He hid his face in my hair and started shaking.

  “I told him to bring the ring with him. I said it would be a great gift for Gemma this year. He wanted to wait until next year because that’s what they agreed on. He was supposed to put it under the tree before we left to the bank. But he must have forgotten.” And he took a deep shaky breath before continuing on. “I saw him reach for the box, I wanted to yell “Don’t do it man, it’s not worth it!” but the words couldn’t come out of my mouth. Everything happened in slow motion after that. The bank robber shooting at Damian. Damian falling. The only thing I could do was grab the security guard’s gun and shoot. And I did. I shot the bastard and I was glad I killed him.” He got up carrying as if I weighed nothing and set me back on the bed and started pacing back and forth.

  “I ran over and kicked the gun out of his hand. I went to Damian, he was coughing up blood. I knew it was too late. But I still put my hand on his gunshot wound and kept screaming over and over “Stay awake man, stay awake! The ambulance is coming!” I could hear Gemma’s cries, screaming at him. He looked at me in the eye once and then looked at Gemma one last time before he told her he loved her. And then closed his eyes and died,” He ran his hand through his hair, his face with anger and sadness.

  He still kept pacing back and forth. Not realizing that he was crying, “I couldn’t believe it, my best friend dead, and I couldn’t save him. You’re right. I keep blaming myself. If I hadn’t suggested him to bring the ring, it would’ve saved him from getting killed. My sister wouldn’t have tried to kill herself and everything would’ve been fine. We would all be happy.” He declared. And then he stopped realizing that I would never be in his life if it turned out that way. I smiled a little smile at him.

  “If this never happened, I wouldn’t have met you and you wouldn’t have met me,” I said softly. He came up to me and put both hands on my face. He looked at me for the longest time.

  His looked tortured, his eyes scared at what I was going to say after the next declaration. “But how could you be with a killer like me?!” he said harshly, eyes filled with pain

  So this was what was torturing him. He thought he was a killer. He thought it was his fault for telling his friend to bring the ring that killed his best friend or that it was wrong to kill a man and be glad he died. I stared at him. He ran his thumb over my lips nervously. He was breathing like he just finished running. He was scared. Like I used to be scared. The hospital bed was small, but since I was small I had enough room for him. I patted the bed and made him lie in bed facing me. I put my hands on his face and he had his hand on the curve of my back, afraid that I was going to leave him. I smiled at him and traced his broken once nose thinking how I use to think I’d never touch it.

  “You’re not a killer. You saved many people that day. If it wasn’t Damian who died, then what if Gemma huh? Or the bank teller or the other people there in the bank?” He frowned. “You did what you had to do. You were put in a situation you couldn’t control. Gemma is safe and alive because of you. Many people that day must have been relief that justice was served because you managed to put down a killer who shot and killed your best friend. If it wasn’t you who shot him, then someone else would. But you did. And it’s okay. Damian must have known that you killed his killer because he looked at you one last time.” I said and soothe his fears away. His hold tightened on me, pulling me closer more intimately. I kissed his eyes, his beautiful ocean blue eyes. “To me, you’re a hero. My hero.”

  “If you never came here to Ithaca, I might still be lost. You saved me from depression. You may not realize it, but you did.” I softly confessed to him. He gave me a small smile. His eyes shining with love. I couldn’t resist but kiss him. He pressed me closer and we continued kissing. And then, he just held me. I could tell he needed time to adjust to the information. All I did was lay there with him, listening to the beating of his heart, knowing that it was beating for me.

  Chapter 17

  I finally went home. The day before Valentine’s day. I didn’t even have time to get a gift for Gabriel or Gemma. But I knew what I wanted to do. I took a picture of them together. They were at church at the time. I sat in the same row on the other side of them. Gemma was leaning back looking straight ahead; Gabriel was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees with his gaze down. They both had the same look. Hope. It also proved how much of twins they were without realizing it. But I needed a drive to 3P’s. Uncle Robert wouldn’t allow me to drive for a few weeks until I was fully recovered. Since I’ve gotten home, things were better. I even conversed more with everyone. Kevin said it was great to hear my voice every now and then. He said he liked listening too.

  I screamed for Chelsea’s name from my bedroom. Our relationship improved even better. We were more like sisters now.

  “What? What’s wrong?” She asked and frowned. Since the day she realized that Gabriel was in love with me. She confessed that she didn’t love him at all. He was a really nice guy. She liked the idea that she could snag the most gorgeous guy in school. She could tell that he was infatuated me from the way he stared at me. She was jealous that he liked me over her. But then she began to realize that it wasn’t fair, because I deserved to be loved too.

  “Can you take me to 3P’s? I need to develop some film.” I asked. I knew she’d take me but I figured I’d still ask.

  “You know I will. Are you ready or do you need to change?” I rolled my eyes. I had on T-shirt and jeans. Of course I don’t need to change.

  I was glad it was a Saturday. Mark would be working. He had been handling the place with Pete without me. I was going to start work up again next week. Gabriel argued that it was too early, that I was still weak. As sweet as he was, he knew I enjoyed working there so he caved in, saying he would drive me and pick me up.

  I rushed in, Mark surprise to see me, but still broke out in a smile. I realized something about him. He had on contacts, his hair was trimmed shorter so it was out of his eyes and he wore more fitting clothes. Today he wore a fitted white T-shirt and blue jeans. I had to take a step back. He was a gorgeous guy. Like a younger Brad Pitt. When I took a step back, I bumped into Chelsea.

  “Hey! What’s wrong?” she exclaimed and followed my gaze. She took a step back too. Apparently she from her reaction, she did know Mark more than he thought.

  “Woo-hoo Mark, you took my advice,” I teased him. He blushed. Chelsea was out of words, which was unusual. She was definitely out of her element because this guy was not a jock.

  “So what do you think?” he asked me nervously.

  But Chelsea answered for me,” You are one hot guy!” and put her hands over her mouth, embarrassed of her honest outburst and blushed. I laughed. Mark looked pleased. I went into the darkroom to give them some alone time. It was over half an hour later. They must have been glad I was gone so long because they were busy talking together with their heads together. I smiled. Mark finally got himself noticed with Chelsea.

  She looked up and smiled. “Oh my gosh! Look at the picture he showed me. The one you took. I can’t believe how great this picture turned out to be!” It was the flower picture. And then I saw the painting. Sometimes Mark brought his paintings to work on. I looked at it and thought it was more beautiful than my picture. He caught her in a different light.

  “I’m going to put this in the entry for the scholarship. Is that okay?” he asked nervously at Chelsea.
She beamed. “I would be honor,” she gushed. His face broke into a big smile.

  “Are you coming to the birthday party tomorrow? I don’t think I gave you an invitation” Chelsea asked and then frowned.

  “Its okay, Odette invited me a month ago. She said I would be her guest so I didn’t need one,’ he reassured her.

  She frowned even deeper and then broke into a smile. “I’ll bring you one anyways. I’ll bring it on by later.” She promised. As we were walking out, I gave him thumbs up. He gave me one back. And as promised, she did bring him one. She also said she got a date too.

  Chapter 18

  Since it was February, it was still cold. But spring weather was coming by too. The sun was up. It was Valentine’s Day. I never used to celebrate it. Now I guess I have a reason to now. I spoke to Gabriel last night. He couldn’t wait to see me again. I reminded him I saw him last night. I was trying to wrap his present. I had to slap his hand away because he was trying to sneak a peek. He said it was too big and that he felt guilty because mine was small. I looked up with surprise. I told him that he didn’t need to get me anything. He grabbed me by my waist, bent his head down and teased me saying that I didn’t have to get him anything either. I blushed and realized he was right. Of course, he would tell me how adorable I was when I blushed. This time, being brave, I playfully bit him in the neck. He was surprise with pleasure that he groaned and kissed me.